Shift Your Perception

For a Better Life

Many people believe that making life better means making huge, far-reaching changes every day. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We think this way because it is embedded in our culture. The idea of the protestant ethic—wealth and prosperity is a sign of morality—and the culture of “no pain, no gain” leads us to believe that a better life comes from hard work, struggles, and suffering. And if we don’t reach our goals in this captialistic system, there is something wrong with us.

Even some of the best motivational speakers fall into this trap. But I have a secret to tell you:

Let me say it again: there is nothing wrong with YOU. It is the perceptions you hold (or that society holds and pushes onto you) that are not working.

I have found that the smallest adjustments in everyday life, especially adjustments in my perceptions, lead to the biggest changes.Let me give you an example.

One year I had a misunderstanding with my landlord about my lease agreement and was given 30 days notice of a lease non-renewal. I was angry and frantic! I had no idea where I was going to live; finding a house or apartment within my budget that would allow 2 large dogs in July in a college town is damn near impossible. And it was! Two days of looking yielded nothing and I became even more stressed out and frantic. My perception was “I will never find a place to live. It is impossible under these conditions.”

Thankfully, my partner has lived with me long enough to give me a taste of my own medicine. He told me to stop looking for a house for 24-48 hours and to try to change my perception of the events.

“You are saying it is impossible, so of course it will be impossible!”

So I took his—and my own—advice and took some time to meditate and feel frantic. Yes, feeling frantic can be meditation!

Soon, that frantic feeling started to recede. I realized what it was I wanted. I was very unhappy in the apartment I was in, anyway, so this was a great opportunity to find a place where I could be happier! I wanted a home closer to nature that felt calm and cozy.

Did you see the change in perception there? No? That is because the change is so subtle that you would never think it could change anything.

My previous perception was “This is impossible to find a house on such short notice”. My new perception was “this is an opportunity to get out of an unhappy place”.

I found two great listings that night. Two days later I was touring a new house and putting in an application. Two weeks later, we signed the lease. A week after that, we moved in. A whole week before we had to be out of our other apartment!

One more example. My partner and I have always wanted to live abroad, but weren’t sure how to go about it without a very specific skill set or a lot more money than we had. One day, my partner saw a job posting in Jordan. His first thought was “This is a scam.”

This time it was my turn to help him shift his perception. “What if it isn’t?” Within two months we were in Jordan, starting our new life living outside of the US.

It turns out, my partner had friends that were also friends with the man he’d be working for in Jordan. They actually ran in the same circles, just missed each other. But he wouldn’t have known that if he decided not to apply to a “scam”.

One simple change in perspective allowed my whole world to change for the better. It is always the small internal changes that allow you to build real, positive change in the world around you.